Teen Guide · Ages 13–17 · Teens
Respect
May · Word of the Month
May's word is RESPECT — treating people, including yourself, as worth taking seriously. At this age respect gets more complicated: respecting authority without blind obedience, respecting people you disagree with, and self-respect that shows up as real boundaries, not just confidence.
🥋 Respect isn't the same as obedience
You can respect an instructor, teacher, or parent's authority and still ask honest questions, or disagree respectfully. Respect means taking someone seriously enough to be honest with them — not simply doing whatever they say without thinking.
🚧 Self-respect as boundaries
- ●Saying no to something that violates your values, even under peer pressure
- ●Not staying in a friendship or relationship that consistently disrespects you
- ●Speaking up when someone crosses a line, instead of going along with it to avoid awkwardness
🤝 Respecting people you disagree with
It's easy to respect people who think like you. Real respect is extending basic dignity to someone whose opinions, choices, or beliefs are genuinely different from yours — disagreeing with the position without dismissing the person.
💔 Respect in early relationships
As dating and early relationships start, it's worth naming directly what respect looks like versus what control dressed up as caring looks like — jealousy isn't proof of love, pressure isn't romance, and a partner who respects you doesn't need you to prove your loyalty by giving something up.
🧢 Respecting a role even when you don't like the person
You can respect an instructor's role, a referee's call, or a teacher's authority without personally liking them — respect for a position doesn't require personal fondness. Confusing the two is what makes it feel okay to disrespect someone the moment you decide you don't like them.
📱 Respect online
- ●Respecting a "no" or a "stop" the first time, online just as much as in person
- ●Not pressuring anyone for photos, information, or attention they haven't offered
- ●Respecting someone's privacy — not screenshotting, forwarding, or posting something they shared with you in confidence
🤐 Respect and how you talk about people
It's easy to think of respect as how you treat someone to their face. The more honest test is how you talk about them when they're not there — gossip, mocking, or dismissing someone behind their back is a real disrespect, even if you'd never say it to them directly.
🎓 Respecting people who are still learning too
Instructors, teachers, and coaches deserve real respect — and they're also human, still figuring things out, capable of being wrong. Respect doesn't require pretending someone's perfect; it means taking their role and effort seriously even while knowing they're not infallible.
🏅 Respect in competition
Respecting an opponent while trying your hardest to beat them isn't a contradiction — it's the actual standard. How you shake hands after a loss, or how you act after a win, says more about your respect for the sport and the person across from you than the match itself does.
💬 Try asking your teen
- ●Is there a difference between respecting someone's authority and just being afraid to disagree with them?
- ●Have you ever had to set a boundary with a friend to protect your own self-respect? What happened?
- ●Who do you respect who you also disagree with about something?
- ●What does real respect look like in a relationship, versus what sometimes gets mistaken for it?
💡 Try This At Home
Model disagreeing respectfully with your teen directly — let them see you push back on something you disagree with (a decision, a rule, an opinion) while still being respectful in how you do it. That's the exact skill this month is about.
"Respect is earned, not given." Ask your teen who they respect most, and what that person actually did to earn it.